"Watch me" I say as I shift back on my left foot and execute a quick jab with my right hand, the impact pushing through the bag and shooting back up my arm only to be stopped abruptly by my solid stance. The honest contact of strength against a solid body warms my muscles and reminds my brain of what I am capable of.
I watch as my son mimics my stance, just a bit goofy, his bed head hair flying around his face, bottom lip sucked between his teeth in concentration. I can't stop the smile that crosses my face as I instruct him. I watch his footing go from uncertain to sure and his punches begin to lead in the age old dance of the bag.
The memory of this day will one day spill out over some dinner, relating to a friend how his mother taught him the proper way to make a fist, to throw a punch, to defend himself. I can't help but be both proud and sad at how life is sometimes something less, and yet more, then what we expect.
Bored and complacent in his new found knowledge, he wanders away and leaves me to contemplate the heavy bag in the dark silence of my carport. It's an old friend, swinging there in silence. It has waited for this day with a patience unbroken by the passage of time. "What took you so long?" it creaks out in voices made by the squeaking of chain. I shake my head in response. I don't know. I had forsaken the comfort, the release that it unselfishly offered. I had turned away from the feeling of strength that infuses itself into my being when making contact with it's textured body, the confidence that straight lines into my self worth, in tandem to the gentle sway of the bag.
"I'm here today" I say to myself, as much as in answer to it's silent question. I swing a hook into it's side and sigh in satisfaction at the resounding sound of fist on canvas, embracing the small pain that shivers across my shoulders. The impact is solid and waves across my body as sweat slides down the side of my face, disappearing into the pony tail I had carelessly knotted at the back of my head.
I've been punishing myself for so long now. Denying what I loved in a self inflicted sentence. "No more" I whisper, beating out my sins with every contact I make. My body is slower, my responses lag from the weight I had layered on in defense against a world turned hard and unforgiving. But as I circle the bag in slow steady repetitions I can already sense the muscles in my shoulders tightening, my abdomen clenching in response, the sinew in my thighs awakening to muscle memory. As my body comes alive under the abuse I am showering upon it, I gaze out into the night sky and I know this one small truth.
I will never give up again.
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ƒåυνέ had this to say:
I'm not surprised...you are much too strong a person to be a quitter.
- 5:56 PM, January 09, 2007
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Red Hot Sexy Papa had this to say:
Has this got to do with Rocky Bolboa ???
- 8:00 PM, January 09, 2007
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Kara had this to say:
lol, ah red your killin me. no, I used to do kickboxing daily, have gotten away from it since my mothers death...something i regret.
- 8:04 PM, January 09, 2007
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Michael had this to say:
Your writing continues to impress! Great post...
- 1:40 AM, January 10, 2007
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had this to say:
You rock harder than Ron Jeremy, sister.
- 7:19 AM, January 10, 2007
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Carrie had this to say:
You are fabulous! I love the way you write. When I read your posts, I have to have silence so I can concentrate. I bet my co-workers know I am reading "KaraMia".
I'm so proud of you. I remember reading awhile ago about how you took Kendell to a baseball game. You are one heck of a mother and he will grow to appreciate you so much.
As soon as it gets warmed up, I want you out there tearing up that bag. That's an order!
(I couldn't get your blog to pull up last night so here I am the 6th commentor. ugh!)- 8:45 AM, January 10, 2007
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had this to say:
I learn more and more about you each time you write. Thanks
- 10:09 AM, January 10, 2007
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had this to say:
wow. muay thai? is this for real, or a little literary license?
kickboxing daily?
mlah- 10:56 AM, January 10, 2007
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Kara had this to say:
Mlah,
100% real, nope, i'm not a champion, just fell in love with the sport and used to practice daily. Now i'm starting over again and getting back into the groove.- 1:23 PM, January 10, 2007
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FANCY had this to say:
Hey Karamia!
life is going well for you...I can see...*s*...
Kickboxing is your kind of a sport. That is something, Sweetie you rock. I think it's tough,
***HUG***- 4:26 PM, January 10, 2007
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Keshi had this to say:
I wanna take up kick-boxing simply for the fact that I wanna kick it while I have some faces in my mind! :)
Good on ya chikka!
Keshi.- 4:53 PM, January 10, 2007
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had this to say:
I just realized I can safely say "You're pretty cool... for a girl" despite the fact you could most likely beat the cr*p out of me without breaking a sweat, because "3000 miles away!"
*fails to notice wife reading comment*
*learns valuable lesson about dangers of making long-distance smartass remarks*- 7:22 PM, January 10, 2007
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Leepak Hope-ra had this to say:
Bravo KaraMia! Never quit!! (and thank you for stopping by!) :o)
- 9:14 PM, January 10, 2007
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had this to say:
Teaching a kid how to defend themselves is probably neccessary, especially these days. It's important for kids to feel safe and at the very least it's another life skill. Sounds like your boy brought a little life back into you. Kids will do that for you.
- 2:14 AM, January 11, 2007
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had this to say:
Good for you for getting back to something you love to do!
- 9:41 AM, January 11, 2007
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had this to say:
It does feel really good to hit that bag doesn't it? I love it. You really ought to look into karate classes. I bet you'd love them.
- 10:05 AM, January 11, 2007
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had this to say:
I was a fighter...I know the feeling...
- 9:30 PM, January 11, 2007
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had this to say:
I'm a lover, not a fighter...
Okay...I'm not much of a lover either. ;)
Steve~- 12:00 PM, January 12, 2007
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had this to say:
Wow! I'm not going to get in your way or you'll kick my ass!
- 1:43 PM, January 12, 2007
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Callie had this to say:
I think that's fabulous! Won't be long until you're back in fighting shape, and can kick the heck out of that condescending bag.
;-P- 2:12 PM, January 13, 2007
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had this to say:
Love your use of language; "My body is slower, my responses lag from the weight I had layered on in defense against a world turned hard and unforgiving."
It's time to start submitting some of your stuff for money...- 7:32 AM, January 16, 2007
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Mike had this to say:
That was AWESOME. Great writing! I mean that! I need to go read it again!
- 3:30 PM, January 16, 2007
