You Don't Know Me
Saturday, December 30, 2006

Right away I start humming that song from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack by the Blow Monkeys...but that's, You Don't Own Me....ah semantics. Well, I've been tagged by The Mind to tell you five things you don't know about me. This could be scary children, go grab your blankey and make sure all the lights are on.

1) I've had knee replacement surgery on my right knee and need to do the left eventually. Eventually being when I can have the surgery performed by The Rock, preferably in the nude. After I helped sanitize him of course.

2) When giving birth to Kendell and after pushing for two hours (that would be PUSHING, not labor) I asked the doctor if we could do this tomorrow because I really needed a nap. I truly did not understand why he laughed.

3) I'm a voracious reader. I have a book with me at all times. If I don't have a book with me, I actually have withdrawal pains. I even read in the shower. The library is not happy with me.

4) I have a lazy eye. It's not bad unless I'm very tired or very drunk. Both instances in which I also develop a drawl from learning to speak in Georgia. So if you're ever in a bar and see a cross eyed woman using the word "Ya'll" a lot...It's probably me.

5) When I was about sixteen, I was sitting on the couch and my sister came up, pushed my head down on the arm rest and farted on my head. I know that's not really something to "know" about me...but it drives my sister crazy when I repeat it. She denies it to this day...I however know the truth. You don't forget someone farting on your head.

Ahhhhh, who to spread the love to.....Let's try tagging Just a Trumpet Player, Mlah(because I missed you last time), and of course...Carrie!! can all smack me later cause I like it anyways! hmmm, that's a sixth thing isn't it?

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

You are right....I didn't know any of those things. I love the "fart" story. I didn't know girls did boys do it all the time, I'm sorry to say. They also have a gross joke with stinky armpits, but I won't repeat it here.
Stop by my place when you have time...I have fun Christmas pics up.
Happy New Year!

5:05 PM, December 30, 2006 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

LOL! I think I did the same thing when I had DT.

Oh man, the fart story. Exhole used to sit on my lap, fart and refuse to move until after I had to breathe. Just one of the many reasons Pman is so superior to him...Pman leaves the room to fart (usually) and would NEVER sit on my lap to make me smell it.

And as for speech, LOL! Ask Cece how I talk. She teases me constantly. In Chicago the girls were all laughing at the way I say bag and italian (it's eye-talian), so I was trying to keep my accent in check. Then, in a moment of drunkeness I went all Yooper on their asses and followed up a fairly normal sentence with "ya, eh?" It sent them all into hysterics.

6:27 PM, December 30, 2006 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

I even read in the shower.

NO WAY! Before I believe this one, I'll need some photos! :)

Seriously, can you help me with this one? The shower is just about the only place I don't read ... how do you do it?

7:54 PM, December 30, 2006 

Anonymous Kimmy had this to say:

ewwwww which one farted on you????? please say Kandy so I can bug her about it!!!! :o)

9:52 PM, December 30, 2006 

Anonymous Gypsy had this to say:

No, I guess you really don't forget when someone farts on your head, do you? LOL

I had an ex-boyfriend who once farted in the car, rolled up all the windows real quick, came to get me at the door, and then had me sit in the car in the fumes, laughing all the while because he'd planned it. Yeah, that one didn't last too long.

10:06 PM, December 30, 2006 

Blogger Carrie had this to say:

Mind and Gypsy have some sick ex-lovers. What are they, 12?

Anyway, what is wrong with your knees? Aren't you a little young for knee replacement?

I can't believe I didn't know any of these. I can see you telling the doctor that though. Well wait a minute I knew you were a freak about books.

I'm still thinking. It makes me realize that I expose too much on my blog.

7:13 AM, December 31, 2006 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

You are right. I did not know these things about you. Now I know something about you. Imagine the odds. I have never farted on someone's head nor have I lit one in an enclosed space (like a car) to torture someone. I believe farts are best used in a hot bath where they can be allowed to bubble sweet music (and relief) to the bather with little to no adverse affect.

8:17 PM, December 31, 2006 

Blogger Motherdear had this to say:

Kara, this was hilarious...your humor is so self-deprecating. You really are wonderful, ya know that???

Hey, I tagged your for a Christmas post. You don't have to do it. I was obligated by blood to tag five friends, and since you are one of my THREE friends (I have to make up the other two, just like when I was a kid), you got stuck being tagged.

Don't hate me. I'd really regret being down to TWO friends!!!

Hope you and Kendall had a wonderful Christmas, babe...

3:11 PM, January 01, 2007 

Blogger some girl had this to say:

LOL @ #4! I love it! Happy New Year!

9:46 PM, January 01, 2007 

Blogger Red Hot Sexy Papa had this to say:

Happy New Year!!

6:17 PM, January 02, 2007 

Blogger Keshi had this to say:

And now we know ya :)

Happy New Year babe!


9:46 PM, January 02, 2007 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

Oh NO! She farted on your? LMAO That is too funny! You poor, traumatized, child.

8:39 AM, January 03, 2007 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

Oh NO! She farted on your? LMAO That is too funny! You poor, traumatized, child.

8:39 AM, January 03, 2007 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

So since my dad just had knee replacement surgery, I'm dying to know why you needed it? Sports all your life? Bad cartiledge? Talk to me girl!

And that is friggin' hilarious about your sister!!

Happy New Year girl!!!

9:55 AM, January 03, 2007 

Anonymous nila had this to say:

And I thought the cross eyed girl using the word "y'all" alot was Britney Spears.

11:34 PM, January 03, 2007 

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  • Name:Kara
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