Buddy Rides Again
Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I have a beaver for a dog.
He is systematically eating my fence, rendering it into the gap toothed smile of a 90 year old senior. Forced into action, I recently repaired that smile with all the finesse of a one handed, two fingered dentist. It wasn't pretty, but it worked.

Buddy must have took that as a challenge because as of today, it's so gaped tooth you could slap a roof on that sucker and call it a shed.

Gaps result in failed escape attempts by Buddy. They fail for a few reasons.

One, he is a hundred pound dog trying to fit into a slat sized opening, two, he is on a fifty foot lead. While that allows a certain amount of freedom, it also tends to thwart the Great Escape by wrapping him around various impediments such as poles, trees, and on occasion, people. He then panics, yelps, barks and basically causes your ear drums to bleed by hitting pitches never before known to man.

You might think I'm a bad owner for having such a cutie pie on a lead.
You would be wrong.
I have a fenced yard. I also have a kennel.
The first day we moved in Buddy escaped the back yard by going under, over, and through the fence. Evidently he was just researching his options.

Fine. we go get a kennel. My friends husband, his friend, and a case of beer, managed to put up that kennel. As he was leaving, he patted that Kennel proudly, burped, and said, "nothing is getting outta here. I anchored it down reeaalll good."

It took Buddy ten minutes flat to pry up that chainlink into a hole large enough to squeeze his hairy behind through. It took Kendell and me several hours, and four McDonald hamburgers to coax his reluctant doggy ass into the car.

Hence.....the lead, which we have had to replace three times because he breaks them. Did I mention that the leads are made of steel cables? ..um..yah.

Today, with all the Machiavellian charm he could muster, Buddy managed to manipulate Kendell into letting him off the leash in order to free Buddy from his tryst with a bush. He then led Kendell on a merry chase through the neighbors back yard, around their bird bath, over to their tree, where upon the neighbors cat wisely decided amnesty was a good thing, down the street to the park, over, under, and around all playground equipment. Kendell, in one last desperate ploy, flung himself onto Buddy's back in the hopes of slowing down the freight train that is our dog.

Buddy is now home, Kendell has learned the fine art of dogback riding, and my fence...well, it has a date with my hammer.

Home sweet home, what I wouldn't give for a Valium.






13 Comments:
Blogger Carrie had this to say:

But you love 'em, right?

I guess you could go over to Michele Agnew and talk about putting him down for his bad behavior.

ugh...I am just kidding but there really is a post over there about that.

1:06 PM, August 23, 2006 

Blogger KaraMia had this to say:

I would never do that, usually bad behavior is the owners fault, not the animal. Buddy is just bored and i'm just too busy. Soon as Kendell gets stronger he's on daily walk asignment!
Must go to Michele's now to spew some opinion...

1:20 PM, August 23, 2006 

Blogger Kirsten had this to say:

Wow. I love big dogs but you've made me very glad that mine is a little spaniel puppy!

1:36 PM, August 23, 2006 

Anonymous ficklechick had this to say:

Aren't dogs fun? Want another one? Or two? ;)

2:33 PM, August 23, 2006 

Blogger some girl had this to say:

OMG, the lead is a GOOD thing! I know what's like to have a runaway dog and it sucks. It's so, so scary.

Look at you, being all 'handy woman'! I'm so proud of you!

7:43 PM, August 23, 2006 

Anonymous InterstellarLass had this to say:

Good for you for getting out your hammer! I love tools.

Have you considered an electric fence? Or a shock collar? Or how about Valium for you AND the dog.

Did the meme BTW. :)

8:16 AM, August 24, 2006 

Blogger Cece had this to say:

I'd LOVE to see a picture of Buddy, he sounds like TONS of fun. LOL Glad he's home safely.

2:43 PM, August 24, 2006 

Blogger TamWill had this to say:

Sounds like your dog is part horse ;)

Maybe you should nickname him Houdini :)

3:28 PM, August 24, 2006 

Blogger KaraMia had this to say:

CeCe, That's my Buddy up there in my header and there's pics to your right in the flicker badge

4:00 PM, August 24, 2006 

Blogger ƒåυνέ had this to say:

LMFAO

what a kodak moment...

7:03 PM, August 24, 2006 

Anonymous Rav`N had this to say:

Rotlf

Can I borrow Kendell the next time my dog gets out? For a dog as big as a german sheperd she'd incredibly good at slipping past people as they go through the front door and then we have one hell of a time getting her back.

12:45 AM, August 25, 2006 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

sounds like a fun time! i think i'll stick with dachshunds! but i can tell you like him and his sorry doggy ass!

good story

mlah

1:25 AM, August 25, 2006 

Blogger Motherdear had this to say:

I love tools, too!

I married two of them!!

Buddy is a ball of energy. And very inventive! I can't imagine your having any other kind of dog.

He is, if nothing else, GREAT blogfodder and you have, as usual, made me pee my pants laughing!!

But I do sympathize, darlin'. Had dog just like this one once. I did have to put her down, though, after she chewed a hole in a neighbor's dog and then tried to do them same with a friend's child.

This was not my fault, though. She was already broken when I got her; her previous owners wrecked her and it was a shame to have to destroy her, even though she wrecked the house and another dog and almost, a kid.

When they go after kids, you don't have a choice any more. It's either the dog goes, or your house does, when you get sued.

Hey, humans gotta live, too, right? I tried. She just wasn't trainable.

But I still feel badly about it.

5:33 AM, August 26, 2006 

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