Review
Friday, May 19, 2006

I'm going to break a rule here and write about my work.

Well, sort of.

It's review time. Where I work, we get to write our own reviews.
Now I know my job isn't the only one that does this, but I have some strong objections to the whole idea.

As a supervisor I loved this policy because it cut down on my work. I could just look at my employees review and skew the words to match my own thoughts and whamo...I was done. Besides, it's more fun being on ass kicking side then the poor schmuck that's gotta take it.

As the peon who has to write my own review....this SUCKS.

First of all, The review consists of about twenty probing questions in the manner of: Does the Employee Understand the Impact of His/Her Work Upon Others in His/Her Department:

Of course, when I am late coming back from lunch the impact on the person behind me is clear in the knife they just thrust into my back as they scuttle to the corner gnawing on my leftover chicken bones.

Or

Does the Employee Demonstrate Professionalism:

Yes, everyday when I come to work in my clown shoes and a big fat red nose.

What they hell do they expect us to say? I don't know about you but I sure as hell use these spaces to explain why I should be the next candidate for Sainthood.

What fool would really answer these questions with a negative tone or (gasp) the truth?
Is this really a test to weed out the dim bulbs in our office? Do they think we are going to be honest on this? If so, half of the employees around the world would need to write in great big red letters, "Fire me! I'm a waste of space!"

The other big objection I have to writing my own review is that it really sets you up for a big slap on the ass.

You write all about your professional virtues and how you're always on time and never wear your hooker shoes to work, only to have your supervisor write in the comments below each time you were late and that time she had to send you home because you boob kept falling out of your shirt (psst, bra malfunction....I'll tell ya about that one later)

It sets you up to look ....dare I say it?? ....STUPID.

Mostly, I just resent the amount of time it takes from searching the internet for hot men from Aruba...damn work.






19 Comments:
Blogger Prego had this to say:

it is tough to toot your own horn.

me?

tough to work with
unorganized
sexist

11:20 AM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger Dak-Ind had this to say:

greetings from michele.

i know what ya mean about work reviews. i worked in a company where the supervisory people wrote all the reviews. (the peons, as well as their own) i was a supervisor adn i can remember sending off to corporate a glowing review of myself. they never visited my store so maybe they believed me about being mother teresa's soul sister. lol

11:21 AM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger utenzi had this to say:

I'm thinking that the bra malfuncton portion of your post was just crying out for a picture, Mia. Or even more than one! Just give it some thought...

Michele sent me here to commiserate with you and tell you how nasty that policy is. Well, that's one nasty policy, KaraMia! What in 'ell are they thinking?!

11:55 AM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger keda had this to say:

stoopid policy.

me though...

easy to work with, though slightly contrary
unorganised
sexist

see easy peasy.

i read down 3 posts and really quite like it here.
lovely tribute to your mum, and way to go scratch!
here via michele*

12:35 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger ƒåυνέ had this to say:

Ugh, I just had to do this as well. Personally, I went online and stole a bunch of answers from other people.

12:43 PM, May 19, 2006 

Anonymous jane had this to say:

I couldn't write my own review, no way. Here via Michele.

1:16 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger Yo Tambien Te Mando Besos had this to say:

At least you get questions! Imagine writing your own review in a BLANK word document... no less than 5 positives and 5 negatives. Needless to say that you spend the whole month erasing and re-writing!

Thank you for your visit yesterday!

3:30 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger margalit had this to say:

As a former manager, I have to agree with you. It's one stupid policy and probably only instuted as a CYA policy for the company. They can't get sued if YOU wrote your review, right? Gag.

Here from Michele

4:22 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger RC had this to say:

I'm was gona write something about Aruba, but my big brother smacked me on the head, so I better get off his computer before he kills me!

Hi, Michele sent me! Thanks for visitng my blog, Kara!

4:30 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger Thumper had this to say:

Ohhhh...I could toot my own horn, totally. I used to love those things in school, when the teachers would have each of us review our academic performance and conclude with what grade we deserved. But then I enjoy writing toal BS.. ;)

Here via Michele's :)

4:37 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger RC had this to say:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:58 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger Dear AL had this to say:

First time I ever heard of this, talk about being freakin lazy!

Hi, Michele sent me!

5:02 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger Dear AL had this to say:

Damn my grammar sucks tonight!

5:03 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger kko had this to say:

To my dear friend Kara

During those years we sort of lost each other, Shelly and I went to Aruba for a week. Trust me - you aren't going to find any men worthy of you there...just lots of good eats and beaches. Although, a few are clothing optional...that has its ups and downs (pun intended). -Kev

9:46 PM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger kko had this to say:

Oh, and to add to the Performance Review tangent - at the beginning of the year, we have to create 3-5 goals. Then we provide a mid-year self assessment and then a final year self assessment based on those goals and 12 different competencies (i.e. Learning on the Fly). Mine was 8 pages...and the manager "leverages" from it left and right. But it helped support the good rating I received so I'm not complaining. Good rating = good raise and bonus!

9:50 PM, May 19, 2006 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

i have to do the same thing. problem for me was, my little company got scooped up by a larger in the middle of the year. that produced a performance eval nightmare. although i did manage to get two raises out of it.

mlah

7:36 PM, May 21, 2006 

Blogger Gypsy had this to say:

Oh, man, I hate self-review. HATE IT. I never have any idea how to answer. I find I want to cheat off someone else's paper.

10:40 AM, May 22, 2006 

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2:26 AM, December 27, 2006 

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