Battle of the Bulge
Wednesday, May 17, 2006

"Mom, I'm gonna wear my cup today."

"I don't want to hear you complain about it then."

"I hafta wear it, Coach says."

"You said it's too big and it bothers you."

"Mom. I. Have. To. Wear. It."

"Fine. Then I don't. Want. To. Hear. You. Complain!" (two can play this game thank you)

So instead of "hearing" my son complain, I got nonverbal complaints during his whole baseball game. He happens to play third base and he spent yesterdays game tugging, adjusting, and wiggling his cup to the immense entertainment of the entire stand of parents. I don't know how he managed to catch any hits because his hand was constantly on his crotch. If I could have reached him, he would've been on dead little third baseman, believe me.

His face had the dour appearance of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh and he walked around like he was sporting the mother of all wedgies. He glowered at me, giving me looks so full of heated blame that I would have gone up in a fiery puff of smoke if he had the ability to incinerate me.

I just shrugged and gave him the, "it's your fault" look and continued to watch the game.

Our last inning Kendell got to pitch. He trots up to the pitchers mound like an eighty year old man, gave me a thumbs up and reached down to adjust his cup. One of the grandmothers in our area looks at him and says,
"man, they sure start that itching crap early don't they?"

I had to laugh and just as I was going to explain that we had bought a cup that was slightly too big, Kendell caught the ball the batter had just pelted his way and turned around, shooting it to the second baseman, earning him his first ever double play.

The grandmother turns to look at me and says,
"Shoot, if he can play like that, he can itch himself all he wants!"

Final Score: Kendell one, Momma zero






7 Comments:
Anonymous Deana had this to say:

Now that is one thing boys have to put up with that rates with tweezing and waxing and bras. The old cup.

Michele sent me today. Like your site.

9:01 AM, May 18, 2006 

Blogger Tickneen had this to say:

That was so funny!! Did you get a picture of himself doing this? Good black mail material for later in life!! I hear those nut cups are uncomfortable! He sure sounds like a heck of a player though! Way to go!!

1:39 PM, May 18, 2006 

Blogger Red Hot Sexy Papa had this to say:

LOL that is SO hilarious!

5:46 PM, May 18, 2006 

Blogger Mike had this to say:

I remember those days.. They were rather awkward as a lad!

5:11 AM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger shpprgrl had this to say:

How funny! Here from Michele's!

8:36 AM, May 19, 2006 

Blogger utenzi had this to say:

I'm frequently surprised at how many people think that athletes are scratching themselves when it's obvious that they're just doing some housekeeping down there.

11:58 AM, May 19, 2006 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

what do you mean it's slightly too large? no self repsecting male could veer admit to having too large a cup.

mlah

7:39 PM, May 21, 2006 

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