Thursday, April 13, 2006

I'm driving in automatic. Hands and feet guiding my car through lights and stop signs, but my mind is elsewhere, soothed into passivity for a moment by a song playing on the radio. Life on the other side of the glass is just a puzzle of sound and colors as my eye catches my image in the review mirror. The morning light showcases my tired lids, my unadorned lips pressed together, the curve of my check.

I have a line. I can see it in the mirror. It's more of a crease really, just a little indicator of the past few years mapping their way across my features. Vanity flutters to the surface as I press and prod it, hoping it will go away, that it was a trick of light.

Not this time. It's for real. I'm getting older. It's not something I'm exactly embracing, but it's not something I'm running screaming from in horror either. It just is.

Life has taught me a few hard lessons this year and the toll of their tutelage is in in the compression of once full lips, the eyes that are slow to smile and the laugh that takes a bit longer to struggle to the surface.

This little line is a gentle reminder that I am wasting time. It's not just about getting older but about opportunities that I might be missing. It's about making memories instead of reliving them.

My hands tighten their grip on the wheel, my eyes move forward and the scene outside my car window looses the blurriness of motion. I am looking at where I am going now, instead of where I have been. The song becomes a soundtrack instead of a solo and my mind is brought abruptly to right now, this moment, this small wrinkle in time.

I am the one driving this vehicle, I control how fast and how slow I want to move through this life.

I think it's time to stop living like a passenger.

Anonymous archshrk had this to say:

Hello, Michele sent me.
Well said. It's moments like this that snap you out of you lathargic state and into a life less ordinary. Unfortunately the feeling doesn't always last but sometimes it does and you pick it up like a habit. Then you're living again.

One thing though, try not to run through any stop sighs or red lights. Tha kind of puts a damper on the self-realization thing.

12:14 PM, April 13, 2006 

Anonymous CYNDY had this to say:

Well I just realized that I am the driver...and I'm older and "have more insurance" off I drive...
50 years into my life, I finally am taking the steering wheel myself.
HI Michele sent me

12:47 PM, April 13, 2006 

Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills had this to say:

Here from Michele today. I hope you embrace all that lies ahead and enjoy as much of life as you can...and remember as we get older, these lines that begin to appear are badges of honor! We have earned them all and it shows that we have 'lived'. I hope you never erase any of them, cause they are like a fine wine...aged to perfection.

12:56 PM, April 13, 2006 

Blogger Dave had this to say:

Too true OOLOTH. I checked your photo anyway KaraMia and all looks as if it's where it should be, no one should ever consider doing a Joan Rivers!
By the way here from Michele's this time.

1:25 PM, April 13, 2006 

Blogger Kross-Eyed Kitty had this to say:

You've got to drive on that long and winding road, but stop to take in the sites, and enjoy the ride. Every wrinkle should be admired, because it art on the canvas of life.
Here via Michele's
(Apparently I can deal with wrinkles, but let's not talk about the cellulite!)

4:14 PM, April 13, 2006 

Blogger Mark had this to say:

Driving is so much better anyway... now get off your couch and hike the appalachian trail. :)

6:28 PM, April 13, 2006 

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