Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Today is my hearing for the child support modification.
I woke up yesterday unable to face one more day of pretending this isn't tearing my insides up into finely shredded Kara innards. As I lay there in the dark, looking at the time and watching the minutes tick away from me, I came to a decision; I played hookie from work and kept Kendell home from school. We spent the day in pj's, sleeping in, and enjoying being home together.

It was a much needed break as I couldn't seem to focus on anything with the stress of this upcoming hearing looming over my head like a dark cloud. For a day I was just a Mom.

So today reality has hit me with a full frontal and Hernando and I must go too meet our fate. In my heart of hearts I know that regardless of the outcome, it doesn't change the fact that we will continue to receive nothing, even if it's a less nothing then previously, it still adds up to a big fat zero. It's the insult, the inconvenience of it all, that keeps me awake at night, worrying over things that I can not change.

So I pray for patience, for acceptance, I pray that I can maintain my dignity despite overwhelming odds...

and I pray that I can stretch this meeting out long enough that his lawyer has too charge him for overtime....
after all, it's the small things in life that give you pleasure.

Blogger Carrie had this to say:

Good for you! Sometimes you just gotta say "F*ck it"!

I hope it goes well and I hope it lasts just long enough for you to feel better about it.

1:51 PM, October 25, 2006 

Blogger Carrie had this to say:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:51 PM, October 25, 2006 

Blogger ƒåυνέ had this to say:

Oh I hope it all turned out well!! (and the bastard got charged tons of overtime!)

4:07 PM, October 25, 2006 

Blogger Just a trumpet player had this to say:

Sending lots of evil wishes his way...

Hoping things went as smootly as possible for you.

5:54 AM, October 26, 2006 

Anonymous InterstellarLass had this to say:

That's the spirit! File your little heart away!

9:01 PM, October 27, 2006 

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