Showdown at the Dog Park
Monday, July 17, 2006

Saturday I got a bit of a slow start. Having to sleep off my margarita induced stupor and clean up after a rocking (if I might say so myself) candle party, it made me a bit slow....Hush, too much noise hurts me head.

I did wake up with one thing that caused my short man endless joy. I was voiceless. You got it. The cold I've been nursing took ahold of my vocal cords and gave em a mighty yank. So I did alot of pointing and threatening looks in lieu of comments like, "Are you crazy?!! Don't EAT that!" or, "Do I look like I'm kidding?!!" Kendell was overjoyed and also found great delight in asking me a million questions that would require lengthy responses..just to hear me squeak.

In self defense I bundled the dog and boy up for a trip to the off leash park. They both seem to like the open pasture and the ability to run hard and fast for as along as possible.

Now the thing about off leash parks that I'm learning is that they house all different kinds of people. There are your Laid Back personalities that could care less if you dog took a dumb on their dogs head. There are the Experts, who probably breed their dogs and know all about body language and can tell you if your dog has homosexual tendencies or not. There are the Newbies that try to be laid back but end up just a little bit paranoid. There are your dotting Mother Hens who call their dogs smoochems or baby, and then there are your Suburban Yuppies who pull up in their station wagon/SUV decked out in loafers and khaki's with their dogs who are named things like Tiberus, or Zeus.

Each of these types are ok from a distance but I prefer to stay with the Laid Back, Newbies, or Experts. They don't take offense easily and like to dish out useful advice like, "See how they sniff each others urine, it's how they identify each other"...Yea, gee, thanks for that.
I've learned alot about dogs since we started coming. How not to freak out when Buddy tries to mount a MALE dog, because he is just trying to assert dominance or how not to panic when they start barking as long as the body language remains friendly and no blood is coursing down their little dog bodies. But not everyone that comes to these parks are open to this kind of education.

They come to exercise their dogs, but not really to "mingle". God forbid if their purebreed whatchmacallit gets jumped on by another dog. The sky is falling if they actually start to bark or growl at all, and Lord help you if your dog does hanky panky on their dog..Dominance bid or no.

This Saturday, Buddy took a shine to a dog who didn't really like him back. He would go up to him and try to engage him in a dice. It didn't help that the owner would call her dog back every time Buddy did get this dogs attention. "Here Hermione!, Come Hermione"
See what I mean about stupid names??

I ignored it for the most part and took them on a run so that we could convince/exhaust Buddy enough to get him back on the leash at some point before midnight. We were coming back from the run when Buddy spied his wannabe friend. He started to chase him around a tree when the dog's owners husband grabbed Buddy by the fur to stop him. Instantly my hackles went up and I snapped at him to get his hands off my dog. I pointed out that they were just playing and it was his dog that was freaking out, not mine. The wife pipes in with the searing comeback of, "no, it's your dog, please remove him" with all the snootyness of your most highbrow society matron.

Oh, it's on now bitches. Throwdown at the dog park! She did not just tell me to Remove.My.Dog!
"We have been sitting here at this bench." she said.

Oh, this went over real well with me. I stood toe to toe with her and in a sneer said, "First of all, they were playing, not fighting, secondly, you never handle another persons dog that way, you grab yours and let the owner (me) grab mine, thirdly (is that a word? huh, I digress..) if your dog is that much of a pansy, you should take him over to the "special needs" section, and lastly, I don't care if your name is carved in this bench with the blood of your ancestors, you want me to leave, make me!" all the while looking at the reflection of my outraged expression in her Raybans.

Needless to say, we stayed. Stupid loafer wearing yuppies. I had to seriously clamp down on the urge to let the air out of their Volvo.


Anger management anyone??

Blogger InterstellarLass had this to say:

Good for you! No one should ever grab your dog! Bastids!

10:59 AM, July 17, 2006 

Blogger TamWill had this to say:

Your post made me laugh out loud. I like the way you told them off.

11:31 AM, July 17, 2006 

Anonymous Keith had this to say:

Bow Wow!

11:38 AM, July 17, 2006 

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard had this to say:

Delightfully funny!

12:20 PM, July 17, 2006 

Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills had this to say:

LOL, LOL...and yet, exasperating, too! People and their gotta love em and hate em! lol

1:15 PM, July 17, 2006 

Blogger Tracie had this to say:

Crazy!! Some people love their dogs a little too much!

Michele says hi!

4:32 PM, July 17, 2006 

Blogger Pioneer Woman had this to say:


Hermione? Yikes.

6:41 AM, July 18, 2006 

Blogger Carrie had this to say:

You go girl! I think I may have grabbed her by her fur. People don't get that animals are like their children. Which means...hands off!

8:01 AM, July 18, 2006 

Blogger Motherdear had this to say:

I think you showed amazing restraint, dear. I would have been less tolerant. First, someone would have gotten my cane over his or her head. Then, I'd have said to my dog "Voldemort, have permission to eat them now!"

Good girl, Kara. No blood spilled and your boundaries maintained. I love it.

This was hilarious, though...I didn't want to laugh, but I couldn't help it. You ARE brilliant, dear!

4:59 PM, July 18, 2006 

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