Elevator Etiquette
Thursday, July 06, 2006
What's that you ask? Well, take a seat my little one's and let me give you a lesson in Elevator Etiquette.I work in a building on the seventh floor. That means I get to rid in an elevator that's been around since the conception of fire, twice a day.
At first pale this might not seem like an issue that should require lessons, but let me tell you my little friends...it does, oh yes it does.
*Note, these are actual occurrences and should be avoided like a six hundred pound human in a mosh pit.
The Basics:
- Let the riders exit the car before you enter.
- Push your floor and move away from the buttons...yes, back away, the button will not turn off.
- Say, "Excuse me" as you try to leave the elevator, shoving just makes us pissy.
- Pushing the button over and over again will not make the elevator move faster.
Advance Course:
- Hands full? Ask someone to push your floor rather then berating the entire car when you go past it. The elevator goes up..AND down..It's ok, it will return to your floor eventually.
- Someone asks YOU to push a floor, don't roll your eyes or ask if their hands are broken, their asking for a reason.
- If your small child hits the button for every floor, for your child's safety, leave the elevator IMMEDIATELY.
- Don't try to make babies on an Elevator, it's too small a space and leaves others feeling just a teeny bit..dirty.
- Do not look at other riders and snicker, you are trapped with them after all.
- Even if you whisper, we can still HEAR YOU.
- Eyeing cleavage in an elevator is not subtle.
Masters Degree:
- If there is an officer and several hand cuffed individuals...wait for the next car, trust me.
- Don't pass gas, this is recycled air people and we could get stuck at any moment.
- If the elevator gets stuck, please do not throw yourself to the ground screaming, "spare ME God, just ME", it's rude.
- If there is only one other person on the car, it is not necessary to stand right next to them and smell their hair.
- Please do not feel free to tell everyone in the car your life story, we don't want to know.
- If you have not bathed in several decades, please, take the stairs.
link | posted by Kara at 7/06/2006 09:43:00 AM
5 Comments:
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Gypsy had this to say:
Fantastic list! My biggest peeve with elevators is people who don't wait for occupants to exit before entering. Drives me batty.
- 11:13 AM, July 06, 2006
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Tom had this to say:
You are too funny! Elevators are a trip man. I always think of 9/11 when I am in one. What a death trap! Do people really have sex on elevators? How is that possible?
- 12:01 PM, July 06, 2006
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Red Hot Sexy Papa had this to say:
i take stairs cos the thoughts of being trapped in a lift alone sucks big time.
- 11:16 PM, July 06, 2006
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Yo Tambien Te Mando Besos had this to say:
Why are you not writing comedy? Or are you?
Things on this list have happened to you?- 11:33 AM, July 07, 2006
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Kara had this to say:
YO! You're killen me here girly! Yes, they have happened, and yes...i was TRYING to be funny...lol
There goes my ego...lol- 12:30 PM, July 07, 2006
