A Plea to the Heavens
Monday, July 24, 2006

I live near Seattle Washington, home of the Rain God, in case you didn't know.

Evidently the Rain God has taken a hiatus and the Sun God is covering his wet ass. It's been in the 90's for over a week and in the high 80's for the bulk of July.

I am here to say, "Uncle"

Ok, I called it, we give. Rain God, please come home. I want to worry about mildew again. I want to curse as I make a run for my office building because I forgot my umbrella and try to hurtle puddles the size of the potomic.
I don't have summer clothing you Sun God Bastard! I have winter clothing that I can use all year round. What the hell! My body is not designed for good weather. My body prefers nice sweaters that cover my ass...thank you very much.

The dog is laying in the sprinkler, the boy right beside him and I'm constantly feeling like I'm going through the change. I'm too young for the change damn you!

I have four fans, count em...four. They still don't get things cool enough. Let's not to mention the fact that i'm walking around in my own personal wet tshirt contest, just to stay cool, and i'm really tired of the neighbors looking at me funny.

My makeup is melting off my face and I start sweating the minute I get out of the shower. If I wanted to resemble a wax doll I would move to Texas and melt in peace.

So dear Rain God, come home and I promise never to groan when I wake up to the pitter patter of your little feet hitting my roof. I am burning the umbrella as a sacrifice as I type this...Please...Pretty please, come home before I am forced to wear shorts! For the Love of GOD you don't want to see that!






6 Comments:
Blogger brit had this to say:

I live in Vancouver and I feel your pain! I too, want the Rain God back! And I want to stop taking 7 showers a day...

5:15 PM, July 24, 2006 

Anonymous Jenny had this to say:

That's the one good thing about Texas. Everyone in the state has central air.

Come on over...I've got the air on "frigid" for ya'll.

4:46 AM, July 25, 2006 

Blogger Gypsy had this to say:

Welcome to my life in Florida, although we do get summer rain (usually) almost daily for brief periods of time. This year has been rather dry, though.

6:55 AM, July 25, 2006 

Blogger InterstellarLass had this to say:

If you get any rain, will you please send us your leftovers down to Texas? Thanks.

8:56 AM, July 25, 2006 

Blogger Carrie had this to say:

I get it now! You aren't used to it. I am thankful when it is in the low 90s. I can't even remember the last time we had rain. I'm sure the burn ban will soon be in effect again. Oh and in Oklahoma, you have to have a/c regardless of car or house.

9:10 AM, July 25, 2006 

Blogger Kal had this to say:

New England got your weather. It's been like living in a rainforest up here this summer. But we've got humidity to beat the band, so you may not want to come up here for the rain...

10:18 AM, July 25, 2006 

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