Parenting and ADD
Monday, April 24, 2006

My son Kendell is ten and he has ADD. He was diagnosed when he was in Kindergarden after a very tearfull and trying year in a private school. It took a lot for me to pick up that phone and make the appointment, in the end, what made me do it was my son's misery. He hated getting in trouble, but seemed to always be in the midst of things. Come to find out later, that private school that I was paying for just stopped teaching him as long as Kendell sat quietly. This was my first experience with wanting to throttle a teacher or caregiver, sadly it wouldn't be my last.

It's amazing the amount of ignorance ADD generates. People hear that and instantly the child is typecast. I can almost see their preconceived notions pop to life.

ADD and ADHD break down fairly simply, it is simply a chemical imbalance in the brain. The neurons that secrete the fluid that allows your brain to pause a moment and think things over malfunction. So when a child afflicted with this condition does something and you ask
"why did you do that?" their response will be "I don't know" and often, they don't, their reactions are almost instantaneous.

But, again, this can be typecasting because each child is afflicted to different degrees and often have different obstacles to overcome in their lives.

I look back on my life and can pick out at least five people who were probably ADD or ADHD undiagnosed. We used to call these kids Hyper. Hyper meaning we have a child here who will bounce off the walls and no one knows why. On the flip side, ADD can also be that child that is seriously withdrawn.

I am typing this out today because I have to leave yet another daycare. We left the last one after almost two years because of another child that wouldn't leave Kendell alone. This one we leave because we have an adult that is unwilling to work to make Kendell successful. Because Kendell has a behavior that is unlike others in her care with ADD, she assumes it's just Kendell being a butt head.

It's sad that when I do everything in my power to empower my child and the people who take care of him, that there is always that one person who can not see beyond their set in stone definition of what ADD is supposed to be.

I know these days will one day be funny, but today, they just hurt. I hurt for my son and all those other children out there who no one takes a minute to see why they tick the way the do.

And I pray for those people out there who are to ignorant and biased to ever look beyond that surface, to delve into the deep and beautiful wealth of every child's mind.

Tomorrow will be a better day, I'll make sure of it.






8 Comments:
Blogger Karen had this to say:

This must be SO difficult for you as a mom. When our kids are hurt or suffering, we feel it along with them, don't we? Hopefully your next child care will be better prepared and willing to work with your son. I wish you peace on this journey....

Here via Michele's...

12:10 PM, April 24, 2006 

Blogger Babble had this to say:

OMG.. have you hit a note here. My 10 year old daughter was said to be ADHD. They put her on ridalin which I took her off 3 weeks later.

I blame schools more so then doctors for this. They have a child they can't teach and instead of finding away to teach them they pull out the copout Add or ADHD. Now yes I understand some truely are ADD or ADHD. My daughter might be ADD but I say that lightly but there is no way she ADHD. She is far from Hyper.

Also Ridalin made her sick to her stomach and her fingers where numb all the time. F*** that stuff took it her off it. If a child feels odd side effects then its not suppose to be given because thats not the problem. Ok I could go on about this for hours. LOL

I found a private tutor for my daughter 2 times a week. Some one to sit with her and find what works with her. Since then there has been some improvement.

12:40 PM, April 24, 2006 

Blogger Yo Tambien Te Mando Besos had this to say:

I have no children of my own but this that you wrote sounds terrible for both you and your child.

I just hope you find a person/daycare commited strongly enough to make things work for your son and you, that fully understand the problem and is willing to help.

Best of lucks to you and your boy!

2:45 PM, April 24, 2006 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

Why dont you stay at home and care/teach them yourself?

8:09 AM, April 25, 2006 

Blogger Tickneen had this to say:

To the anonymous, do you have a special needs child? If not, then I propose you spend a day with kids who are special needs. What a gut wrenching experience it is. My daughter has Hypotonic Cerebal Palsy and was diagnosed when she was 2. She is high functioning, but she is still very different than the others. I hate how ADD ADHD kids are misunderstood. Every parent needs to walk in the shoes of a parent that has a child with special needs. People can be so mean, kids can be even meaner. Do you seek help from your county or state? MN has lots of resources for parents.

8:24 AM, April 25, 2006 

Blogger KaraMia had this to say:

Anonymous,
If only I could....but this is the real world.

8:29 AM, April 25, 2006 

Blogger KaraMia had this to say:

Tickneen,
I don't receive help from the state, WA state help is based on income and I don't qualify, even with being a single parent. I am looking for a good support group for ADD/ADHD parents. It's always good to know your not alone in this thing

8:32 AM, April 25, 2006 

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