The Stolen Hose Caper
Tuesday, June 27, 2006

It was a day like any other day in T-town. The heat beat down like a jack hammer upon the melting asphalt and the air was a heavy blanket of oppression.

Stepping outta my ride, right away I knew something wasn't right.
It was too quiet.

Except for the dog, he always sounded the alarm regardless whether the visitor be fowl, feline, or human. His strident barking broke the silence like the shattering of glass.

The sweat on my brow rolled into my eye, temporarily blinding me to the problem at hand.

Something was missing and I didn't know what.

I took a moment to peel my shirt away from my back waiting for the cool air to rush into the space, only no air ever came. The waves of 96 degrees kept that little reprieve away.

Hand cupped over my eyes I scanned the scene. My partner, Kendell, blundered around the site like he always does. Smart boy, not too quick when it came to catching feelings ya know.

"what are you looking at mom? Huh, huh?"

I keep telling him to call me inspector...but he never does...

"Somethings missing Kendell, I can just feel it."

I scan the street, my eyes squinted in concentration, looking for movement, anything out of the ordinary. Nothing. It's so silent I can hear the panting breath of the dog behind me.


Wait a minute.....why is the dog panting?

"Wait a minute....why is the dog panting Kendell?"

"It's hot out here Mom...sheesh."

"You're forgetting one important thing rookie, I put on the sprinkler for him this morning before we took off on patrol."

"Patrol? Mom, you ok? Is the heat getting to you?"

"That's it!"

"What? The heat?"

"NO! The hose is gone! Some dirty rotten scoundrel absconded with the dog's hose and sprinkler!"

"Jeepers Mom, you're good!"

Yes, someone stole my damn hose and sprinkler yesterday and God help em if I find it hooked up somewhere. I'm going to take Buddy for a walk to their front porch...after feeding him a shitload of pizza....and I do mean that literally.

Anonymous rampant bicycle had this to say:

Is this in honor of Talk Like A P.I. Day? :) It's got that feel.

Someone swiped your hose? Not cool. Give them what for if you spot it!

Here from Michele's!

9:01 AM, June 27, 2006 

Blogger KaraMia had this to say:

there's a talk like a P.I. day? Damn, I thought I was being clever...foiled again!

9:09 AM, June 27, 2006 

Blogger Tickneen had this to say:

Man that is soo funny!!! The inspector!! You sound like a cool woman! Ah, the only consolation for being ripped off is that what comes around goes around. Perhaps it was some bored kids? Perhaps it was a looser destructive bunghole of a person? Hoses are expensive, at least the good ones are! I like your idea of pizza-dog-poop! Great plan! Better yet, same up a weeks worth of poop and then dump it in their yard or on their siding! LLOL Muahahaha

9:26 AM, June 27, 2006 

Blogger Wordnerd had this to say:

Unbelievable! But it makes for a great post!!

Visiting from Michele's!

10:27 AM, June 27, 2006 

Blogger ƒåυνέ had this to say:

::snort:: you're a trip

12:16 PM, June 27, 2006 

Blogger InterstellarLass had this to say:

Who the hell would steal a sprinkler and hose? Yeesh.

1:55 PM, June 27, 2006 

Blogger Yo Tambien Te Mando Besos had this to say:


Missed your posts... you're too funny... Ow! Thanks for visiting...

2:15 PM, June 27, 2006 

Blogger rampant bicycle had this to say:

...aaaaand hello again from Michele's!

9:03 AM, June 28, 2006 

Blogger kenju had this to say:

Kara Mia, Michele sent me to say congratulations on being her site of the day. It is too bad someone stole your hose, but I LOVE the way you wrote about it!

As for the post above, it is too sad for me to think about, seeing as how my daughter has been in the same situation in the past. I hope that gets better for you.

4:43 AM, June 29, 2006 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

This is very interesting site...

5:57 AM, July 18, 2006 

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