Merry Christmas Mom
Friday, December 23, 2005

Brenda Lee, Bing Crosby, Gene Kelley...they heralded Christmas in our house growing up. Every knick knack was packed away to make room for dancing elves, grinning snowmen and rosey cheeked Santa's. Just opening the box full of decorations caused the smell of Christmas to waft out and surround me like a favorite blanket. I loved being home during Christmas, if only to just soak in the smells and tastes of homemade fudge and sugar cookies and listen to the sound of Silent Night played on the wind up music box; I played it till it broke.

The presents were important at the time I'm sure, but I can't remember much of them now. I do remember sneaking around your bedroom trying to find my presents before you or dad caught me. I swear you could hear the rustle of a bag from down the street. I would get up at the crack of dawn Christmas morning, after barely dozing off, and crawl back in bed with my stocking. It was all I was allowed until you and Dad woke up. Every year I got a bag of chocolate coins and a mandarin orange in my stocking. We could eat all the junk we wanted that day, as long as we ate the orange first. It's probably why I still love mandarin oranges to this day, and why my son gets to abide by the same rules you put down for me so very long ago.
There was family everywhere. Great big dinners with the usual squabbling, but Lord knows none of us would have had it any other way. Dozing out in front of the TV surrounded by new Barbies and roller skates. Laying on the couch with you, cuddled in the crook made by your knees. Safe, home, love. You gave those things to me. You gave me magic each and every year. I'm trying so hard Mom, to pass it on. I struggle to remember that feeling and it's right there if only I could reach just a bit more. I miss you so. You were never my best friend, I never wanted you to be, you were my mom, my definition of family and it's exactly what I needed.
So this Christmas Eve I will shut the door to my bedroom while Kendell tries to peak under the door, just like I used to. I will surround myself with presents to wrap and only one night to wrap them in. I will tuck Kendell into bed with kisses and whispers of Christmas dreams. Then I will go sit in the soft glow of the Christmas tree lights, surrounded by the smell of Christmas, and I will remember you.
I love you mom, Merry Christmas.

Anonymous shenanigans had this to say:

Have a wonderful Christmas. Kendell has a great mother and I'm sure he will grow up with great memories of Christmas time just as you did. Merry Christmas.

9:26 AM, December 24, 2005 

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1:11 AM, March 06, 2006 

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