Gerbil Invasion
Friday, December 09, 2005

Ok, I have officially had it with the gerbil population growth happening in my home. It started out with such good intentions over a year ago.
October of 2004 Kendell turned nine. One of his gifts was a set of female gerbils he picked out from a well known pet store that will remain nameless (petco). Kendell called them Sally and Allie. Not very inventive..but hey..what do you expect from a nine yr old boy.. Sally has a yearning for freedom. She's also pretty smart. She's managed to pry open the door and escape. She was on the lame for about two days before we brought the dogs in(well, the dog, more aptly named Buddy) to sniff her out and cornered her behind the fridge. When offered the choice of becoming a late night snake to giant dog or running into her little exercise ball..she choose the ball... like I said, smart gerbil. Where was allie in all this you might ask? Back at the cage. Evidently she figures, got water, got food, exercise wheel....staying here.
Well, sallys latest attempt at escape seems to have a deeper meaning. Evidently Allie is actually Al. What we thought was a female gerbil has now been outed as being definitely male. Lying petco bastards.
We had to wait to take the pups back to the store until they were weaned. The store forgot to tell me to separate the male from the female. (your saying "no shit" right now aren't you) Since I've never been a lactating gerbil mother...I had no idea they would be getting busy with brand new babies. Yup, here comes a second litter. I take back the 1st litter, we keep the mom, one female pup and the new pup which we plan on taking to the store as soon as its weaned. On the way to the store the male broke through our barrier in the box. You guessed it....third litter. Man, I've had some exboyfriends that had fast moves...they had nothing on Al..let me tell you. But I am here to say my feeble attempts at single handedly populating the northwest region with gerbils has come to an end. I have found a kind hearted (sucker) animal lover to take over my brood. By Monday I should be gerbil free. I shall be like those women in the feminine hygiene commercials, complete with a refreshing breeze blowing through my flowing locks as I frolics joyously through a flower strewn field.....
well shit, ok, switch breeze with a air freshener, scratch out field of flowers and replace with living room of small green army men but there's still me..with a very big shit eating grin on my face and still gerbil free. Before you judge me to harshly about wanting to deep six the gerbils...take a look at that picture up there. He's pretty cute right? Right after the picture was taken..he took a chunk outa Kendells finger. Ungrateful little buggers.






1 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

Hahaha we tried the whole gerbil as pets things once as well. Amazingly the story goes alot like yours. Petco...Yes same store is were we bought our two Females. They mated but I didn't have to worry about the first litter...The rather disgusting male devoured them. It was about the grossest thing I've ever seen. We too decided to get rid of them. I didn't want anything to do with them after that. Luckily my son was only two so it didn't really affect him.

Enjoy your Gerbil free days!

3:06 PM, December 22, 2005 

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