And Now Up to Bat...
Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Excuse me, there seems to be some kind of misunderstanding; I believe I signed my son up for baseball...not myself.

I took Kendell to his practice yesterday to find out that it was Parent vs Kids day...SURPRISE!!

Joy, glee, relish...these three emotions had nothing to do with what I felt.

I spent most of my Jr High and High School years on the rag just to AVOID gym and now here I was being gifted with the opportunity to relive memories of hiding in left field hoping no one hit it too me.

I'm going to be 33 this month, public humiliation should not be a lifestyle choice anymore.

Yes, I was the ONLY parent not playing; they all were freaking good sports. Seriously folks, one other person could have not played just so I didn't look like such a dork, is that too much to ask??
Yea...pretty much.

The parents were cool about it, no one one that is but my SON, the product of my loins, my little buckaroo, the small being who at different times(and sometimes the same time) alternately peed, threw up, and snotted on me.

He offered me up like an ice cream cone to starving Ethiopian children.

Every time it was my turn up he was out in the field yelling "come on Mom, just hit it..come ON"


and over

and over again

I could see the impending Kendell storm clouds stirring on the horizon and the wailing voice that was my son getting louder and louder while my face turned three shades of magenta and my skull threatened to split into two jagged I decided to bat, just so he would Shut.The.Hell.Up.

This is the point in the story where I should be telling you how I stepped up to that plate like I was the Babe and pointed out where the ball was going. The bat gripped in my hands just quivering for retribution against years of "she's not gonna hit it, she's not gonna hit it" and "Bring em in, this one's not going far"..

Well, the bat did quiver in my hands, but...more from fear then years of repressed sports stardom and I didn't need to point out where the ball was going because I already knew...right into the catchers mitt.

Hey, I swung, I created quite a breeze for three strikes,
then I quietly gathered my shattered pride and slunk back to my corner to sulk.

Kendell should enjoy the ballet classes I just enrolled him in.....
Bwah Ha Ha Ha!

Anonymous Cyndy had this to say:

Hello there from Michele. I think ballet is an excellent choice for the little buckaroo!

12:35 PM, June 20, 2006 

Blogger JenLo had this to say:

Tell him you'll get him the pink leggings if he doesn't watch it! Thanks for stopping by my Thinks.

12:36 PM, June 20, 2006 

Blogger Tickneen had this to say:

You are tooo funny girl! Get out there and shake that booty!! Just kidden, something like that should be optional!!

2:17 PM, June 20, 2006 

Blogger ƒåυνέ had this to say:

Now why haven't I thought of that? I usually just threaten to pick him up at school in a bathrobe and hair curlers.

9:13 AM, June 21, 2006 

Blogger Carmi had this to say:

It's only fair that he enter your domain, just as you entered his.

I remember how cool it was when my parents participated in my childhood activities. Kudos to you for trying.

And if it makes you feel any better, I would have gone down in three pitches, too.

9:30 AM, June 21, 2006 

Blogger Gypsy had this to say:

Oh, I would have totally choked. There's no way I could have hit a ball. Yep, I think it's time for ballet -- throw some tap in there, too, just for good measure.

9:53 AM, June 21, 2006 

Blogger InterstellarLass had this to say:

Don't forget the leg-warmers! Every good ballet dancer needs leg-warmers!

12:07 PM, June 21, 2006 

Anonymous Janet ( had this to say:

OH LOL what a funny story...and I loved the ending!

Hi, Michele sent me :-)

10:04 AM, June 22, 2006 

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