Times where words slip carelessly from my mouth, ugly words, aimed like darts at the back of unsuspecting people; my son bearing silent witness.
He sees the best and the worst of me; he knows me better then any other will ever in my life. I am his role model, his disciplinarian, his champion, his mother.
I lay awake at night wondering if the things he takes from me are the ugly and profane. If my example has been for intolerances, impatience, and anger instead of love, compassion, and faith. I try to be more for him, but I am only a person, my feet clay.
I long to rid myself of every nasty word, habit, look; if only to show him what I want him to be, who I know him to be.
Then there are days, where the sun is shinning on his blue black hair. His eyes glint with determination and he is a leader to his peers. Days when he has the wisdom to know when to follow; days where the man shines through the boy, and I know that no matter how I have stumbled and fallen; he is, and will always be,
the best of me.
Happy birthday Boo.
Mommy
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kenju had this to say:
Michele sent me, Karamia, and I think the gist of your post could be written by every parent who ever existed.
On the days when you strive to be perfect in your son's eyes, and you fail, sit him down and explain your failings and tell him what you strive for. He will learn the lesson and be the better for your explanation.- 8:17 PM, October 23, 2007
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BreadBox had this to say:
What Kenju said! (She's usually pretty good about writing the good stuff!)
Congratulations, on Boo's birthday, on being Michele's site of the day, and especially on being chosen by someone who so plainly loves your site! Enjoy the attention, and the spike in the statistics:-)
Michele sent me,
N.- 8:29 PM, October 23, 2007
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Shannon akaMonty had this to say:
I feel that way frequently--and every day I'm bewildered (and thankful!) by the fact that I haven't totally screwed my kids up. Yet. :)
Sounds like you're doing a bang up Mom job!
Hello, Michele sent me, and congrats on site of the day!- 9:50 PM, October 23, 2007
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Susan Helene Gottfried had this to say:
Michele sent me, too! Looks like a trend! (congrats on being her site of the day!)
My son is getting old enough now that I've started wondering these same things, myself.
You have tapped into a universal feeling, it seems. Beautifully, too.- 5:03 AM, October 24, 2007
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had this to say:
First a belated happy birthday to Boo!
And congratulations for being the SOTD at Michele's.
As a mother, your questions are normal. We all feel this way about ourselves, about our children. No one can be a perfect parent or for that matter a perfect child.- 5:26 AM, October 24, 2007
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had this to say:
I'm not a parent, but I can feel the depth of your love for your child in your words.
Michele sent me today.- 10:30 AM, October 24, 2007
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sister AE had this to say:
Hello, KaraMia, Michele sent me to your site of the day. This is a lovely post. I know I took from my parents some of their best and worst habits, an odd assortment, some of which I didn't even know I had until someone else pointed them out. But the best thing you can pass on is love and trust, everything else is gravy.
- 11:41 AM, October 24, 2007
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had this to say:
Happy Birthday to Boo. Enjoy reading your blog. Have a great day
- 12:15 PM, October 24, 2007
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Carrie had this to say:
Happy site of the day! Beautiful. I honestly think that you are better than two parents. Don't sweat it.
- 4:44 PM, October 24, 2007
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had this to say:
Hi Michelle sent me. Your words, and the thought behind them, are beautiful.
- 7:06 AM, October 25, 2007
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Gypsy had this to say:
Aww, happy birthday, kid.
- 11:13 AM, October 25, 2007
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Augs Casa had this to say:
Happy Birthday Little Man.
Hope you had a great day.
This was a good read, well done.
oh BTW, Michele sent me...whatever that means...Is this Michele like Where's Waldo??- 12:18 PM, October 25, 2007
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Sky had this to say:
Being a good parent is the hardest job of all, and the most important, too. I am glad you keep in mind that you are never going to be perfect. No point in holding yourself to unrealistic goals. Your child is lucky to have a mom who cares about the impressions she makes and the lessons she teaches. Some never ponder the things you do. Happy belated Birthday to your guy! Michele sent me, and it has been such a lovely visit! :-)
- 1:07 AM, October 26, 2007
